Do you sometimes feel panicked and personally responsible when someone expresses difficult feelings to you?
Do you ever watch your mood completely tank in the presence of someone else’s anxiety or negativity? Or maybe struggle to draw the line between caring about someone and feeling you have to “save,” “rescue,” or “fix” them? Do you feel like you lose touch with your own voice when somebody else expresses a strong opinion?
Leaning on each other is natural, and being responsive to each other’s feelings is important and healthy.
But sometimes our responsiveness and caring can tip toward care-taking, people-pleasing, and ultimately: codependency.
Codependency—looking to someone or something outside of us to define our mood, outlook, identity, or worth—is a very common habit.
But that doesn’t mean it’s a healthy one.
While our codependency often comes from a place of seeking connection and trying to demonstrate care, unfortunately it rarely brings us genuine wellbeing and almost never truly supports or empowers those around us.
In fact, counter to what we might feel, it often does a lot more harm than good!
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Here are some of the unfortunate side effects of codependency:
Being overly influenced by others’ moods, judgments and beliefs, and feeling ungrounded and disconnected from yourself as a result
Hypervigilance, social anxiety, and compulsive attempts at mindreading others
Over-reliance on external validation leading to fragile self-worth
Perfectionism and control; obsessive management of self-image around exclusively positive traits
Insincerity in relationships—pretending and people-pleasing to keep things copacetic
Mood swings and misdirected rage as a result of self-silencing and self-sacrificing behaviors
Chronically compromising, ignoring, or denying your needs, then feeling resentment or blame when others don’t intuitively meet them
Harsh self-criticism and self-loathing when others don’t approve of or appreciate you
Trouble differentiating between someone else’s experience and your own, especially when emotional intensity is involved
Relying on others for your inner balance, happiness, and self-esteem
Taking on the “rescuer” or “fixer” role in relationships; often feeling you give more than you receive in your connections
Inability to self-soothe or emotionally self-regulate when others are in discomfort or seem upset with you
Having surface-level relationships that struggle to withstand disagreement or conflict, and lack authenticity and true emotional intimacy
If you resonated with this list, chances are that you and codependency have a long history together—maybe even as long as you can remember.
Maybe you have some deeply ingrained codependent tendencies that are sapping your energy and driving you crazy… but that you somehow just can’t seem to overcome.
And I bet you’re really tired of it.
Here’s the good news:
Codependency is not an illness or a personality flaw—it’s a set of unconscious coping skills we can compassionately unlearn and outgrow.
Having codependent patterns is frustrating, there’s no doubt.
But it’s not your fault. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you.
And it’s certainly not a life sentence!
Overcoming codependency is absolutely possible.
It’s is a vulnerable and brave journey—
A journey that’s guaranteed to change your life forever, for the better.
The Overcoming Codependency Program is a powerful 2-month journey that will offer you the concepts, skills, and emotional support you need to:
Learn how to source balance, stability, and emotional safety from within yourself
Compassionately transform codependent habits into conscious, interdependent choices that help you stay true to who you are
Experience more ease in relationships—less fear of judgment or disconnection, and more emotional stability and comfort in your skin
Cultivate a vital sense of self-worth, self-acceptance and self-love, regardless of how others feel or respond to you
Learn to meet emotional intensity and interpersonal challenge with grace, humanity, and realness—without losing your center, disconnecting, or giving up on yourself
Develop a healthy acknowledgment of your moment-to-moment needs, and practice expressing them in a clear and open way
Practice distinguishing your own feelings from others’ feelings, and holding both with care and dignity
Identify the qualities of genuinely healthy, interdependent, reciprocal relationships, and empower yourself to seek out and create them in your life
PROGRAM DETAILS
The Overcoming Codependency Program consists of 12 sessions total: 8 learning sessions (2 hours each, Tuesdays early evening) and 4 group coaching calls (90 mins each, Fridays midday) across 2 months. Please review the detailed program schedule below.
Learning sessions are an educational space where participants receive concepts, principles, and tools via live teaching, digital handouts, and real-time demos.
Group coaching calls are an experiential space for participants to bring their codependency-based challenges, process and integrate their new knowledge with Erin’s intuitive coaching, and witness and learn from one another’s personal healing experiences. Erin offers hands-on support to help participants move through tough issues, heal and find meaningful insight, and transform old patterns.
All sessions take place live via Zoom, and participants receive recordings of each session afterward.
If scheduling is a challenge for you, don’t let that be a barrier to joining the program! Missing a session here and there is not an issue. No single session is mandatory, and you can catch up on what you miss via the recordings. That said, consistent attendance is encouraged when possible to support the group’s momentum and shared learning journey—and for participants to get the most out of their experience.
PROGRAM SCHEDULE
All dates are in Pacific Time
Learning Sessions
Tuesday January 12, 5:00-7:00PM
Tuesday January 19, 5:00-7:00PM
Tuesday January 26, 5:00-7:00PM
Tuesday February 9, 5:00-7:00PM
Tuesday February 16, 5:00-7:00PM
Tuesday February 23, 5:00-7:00PM
Tuesday March 2, 5:00-7:00PM
Tuesday March 9, 5:00-7:00PM
Group Coaching Calls
Friday January 29, 11:00AM-12:30PM
Friday February 12, 11:00AM-12:30PM
Friday February 19, 11:00AM-12:30PM
Friday February 26, 11:00AM-12:30PM
PROGRAM CURRICULUM
Session 1: Codependency Explained
What is codependency and where does it come from? What are the signs of codependency? What are the consequences of it?
Session 2: Facing Your Codependency Fears
What are the first steps toward overcoming codependency? What’s the map of how codependency shows up in your life right now? What fears keep you stuck in codependency? How can you learn to be a safe place for your fears? What do you need to grieve/process to be able to move forward and heal?
Session 3: Blueprints For True Connection
What does interdependence actually look like in relationships? What codependent vows did you form out of self-preservation growing up? What interdependent vows feel more aligned with your path moving forward? How do you find and follow a blueprint for reciprocal connections?
Session 4: Honesty & Discernment In Relationships
How do you assess the health of a relationship on your own terms, and practice discernment with what’s viable for you? How do you lean into the vulnerable process of transforming a relationship from codependent to interdependent? What does the journey of transformation look like, and what’s okay or not okay to put up with along the way?
Session 5: Meeting Intensity In Others
How do you respond to others’ intensity, especially when your codependency is triggered? How can you show care for what others are experiencing, without falling into caretaking? How will you know when you’ve fallen into caretaking/codependency, and how will you pivot back toward caring and interdependence?
Session 6: Heartfelt Accountability
How do you take ownership when you’ve had an impact you didn’t intend, or aren’t proud of? How do you ask for acknowledgment when someone else has impacted you? How do you give a clean apology? How do you receive an apology and begin to offer forgiveness (even if the apology isn’t perfect)?
Session 7: Embracing The Real You
What’s likely to happen internally as you shift out of codependency and into interdependence—how might you second guess or turn against yourself? How do you bounce back when your old codependency and people-pleasing habits get kicked up? How can you support yourself to continue a practice of self-acceptance as you shift old patterns and alter the status quo within your connections?
Session 8: Sustaining Interdependence
What are the best tips and tricks for staying in alignment with interdependence as time goes on? What bumps in the road should you expect as you continue this work? What are the telltale signs you’ve fallen off course, and how can you re-orient back in the direction of healing?
PROGRAM RATES
Basic Program $799*
8 learning sessions and 4 group coaching calls
Expanded Program $1,099
8 learning sessions and 4 group coaching calls
2 private coaching sessions (1 hour each) completed within 4 months of program start date
Deep Dive Program $2,099
8 learning sessions and 4 group coaching calls
Erin’s signature Soul Journey Coaching Program (6 hour-long private coaching sessions, custom-tailored to the intentions of the client; includes session recordings, and integration & support via email) completed within 6 months of program start date
* Discounts and scholarships available for BIPOC (Basic Program only). Email erin@erinmerrihew.com to inquire.
Note: Payment plans are available for the Basic Program; email erin@erinmerrihew.com to inquire. Participants may start with the Basic Program and upgrade to the Expanded or Deep Dive Program at any point throughout the program.